Thursday, May 5, 2011

SO SHIT(side)

Measured in cinematic standards, this video is the Citizen Kane of immense second hand embarrassment. The kind of complex emotions it stirred within me in 4 minutes are difficult to describe and I have to admit I'm usually pretty hardened to these kind of things. While peeping between my fingers, the usual defense mechanism of laughter was stifled into a choking gag from the brutal gut-punch of shame and humiliation. red in face and with hair standing on the ends, my stomach felt as if it was climbing through my throat until, like the Native American who has seen his culture raped and misappropriated, the tension manifested itself into one single tear which rolled down my cheek until it began to boil turning to steam on the surface of my scrunched-up red-hot face. After the eternity of its duration, I was in shambles. unrepairably transformed by the experience. Its an experience that i have to coin as "C4mped". Like getting "punked" but "c4mped". I got "c4mped". I'm sorry that I have subjected you to this experience but I will not rest until the world knows what I have witnessed and now might carry forever in my mind. You've been "c4mped".

Anyhow, I calmed down after about an hour and collected my fractured thoughts.

Then I thought of this.

and then I thought "who the hell is Legend C4mp and why couldn't they C4mp somewhere else that day."

Then I started writing this review of sorts, and now i'm thinking that its scary to talk about rappers on the internet but that i'm going to give it a shot because you know, its a new thing to me and you can't knock things until you try them, so they say. And hey, i'm obviously just razzin' after all? Right guys? right? PLEASE DON'T HURT ME.

When people don't skate but rap about it its just not going to translate well, and is often, like in this case, hilarious and kind of embarrassing to skateboarders. And well, even if they DO skate its still pretty damn embarrassing as everyones favorite, Jereme Rogers, has proven time and time again. No offense, c4mp fans. I'm sure the c4mp has some genius material that isn't wooden toy related.

Then I thought, "Man... Worful would never stir up shit on the blog or cause controversy. But he's a better person than me and I guess i'll just play into a new role as reigning blog curmudgeon since Guy hardly ever post anymore."

Then i thought, "damn, the c4mp reps Vans hard, maybe Donze should hook them up".

Then I thought, "by god, we have Joe Jackson's video part song for the Infinity video, this is SO SICK."